Vajazzling, revisited.

I realize that I haven’t blogged in a long time and clearly it took something bright and shiny to pull me out of my cave.

So, let’s talk about Vajazzling for a moment. I must have been on another planet for the last two years, because I just heard about this for the first time yesterday.

What is Vajazzling, you ask? It’s quite simple, really. For a mere twenty dollars someone will delicately place crystals on your situation.

In all of the ridiculous ways women preen themselves, Vajazzaling has got to be the most “special needs” attempt at making yourself look more attractive. Gluing crystals to your region, so that your lady parts look like the equivalent of an Ed Hardy T-shirt, is probably not the best way to snag a man, ladies. Oh, I mean unless you’re into guys that wear Ed Hardy T-shirts. Then you’re golden.

I suppose you’re all wondering who we have to thank for this wonderfully unnecessary, aesthetic enhancement. Perhaps you would remember this actress from such Oscar worthy performances in movies including, but certainly not limited to, I Know What You Did Last Summer, and my personal favorite, I STILL Know What You Did Last Summer. Yes! Thank you, Jennifer Love Hewitt!

But in all honesty, what’s going on here? Self esteem issues? Maybe she did it for science? If not for science, maybe for love?

I believe the singer/songwriter Meatloaf said it best, “And I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that..”.

Preach, Meatloaf.


originally posted in May of 2015